How to Know if Someone Wants to Do You a Favor or Not?
One of the most obvious—and yet oftentimes disregarded—ways we tin support our contacts in following their dreams is to pay them for their work. As Forbes contributor Natalie Zfat explained in an article entitled Here's What To Say When Someone Asks To 'Option Your Brain' About Social Media Over Coffee:
For me, social media is a business. I earn a living (as practice my employees) by providing social media expertise to other businesses. These businesses are happy to pay for our time—a very limited resource—as I'm certain information technology is for you and your colleagues. Just as your job pays your bills, social media consulting is how I pay mine.
Would yous offer to pay for any other service with a drink?
I shared this piece with my network, many of whom—as writers, as career coaches, and equally creatives, whose acquaintances inquire them to "merely glance at" something or "share some thoughts" for free—responded forth the lines of "Yes!" Because as the title of this article states: Smart People Don't Permit People "Pick Their Brain"—They Telephone call information technology Consulting and Accuse Appropriately.
All the same, past so vocally sharing this (important) viewpoint, I realized I might be alienating the people I'd be happy to help. Of course I said yes when my sister-in-law asked if I could review her resume—and no, I didn't expect her to offer to pay me! The same goes for that half-hr career brainstorm session with a close friend: We talk through most major life transitions together (and money only comes into the equation when we're splitting a check).
And then, how can you know if your request is completely appropriate, or if you're making the other person experience taken reward of?
Remember that it'due south less about where you lot're coming from ("I'1000 a good person, and it would really assistance me out if someone talented could lend a manus for free! Oh wait, I know someone who does that…"), and consider how your request volition come off.
Here's a two-question guide to thinking through it:
1. How Shut Are You—Actually?
Social media is great for getting back in touch with old contacts. But information technology can besides give people a false sense of connectivity. Certain, I'll accept your request if nosotros went to the aforementioned summer camp, but that doesn't mean yous can dive in and ask me to help you the aforementioned way I'd assistance my blood brother. Zfat shares how these requests interpret: " 'It's Erica from 11th grade chem, btw.' (Information technology's an specially gutsy ask if you also take to remind me that we went to high school together.)"
And then, exist honest about with yourself virtually the relationship. Do you guys spend holidays together? Is asking for (and sharing) communication—outside of her expanse of expertise—part of your relationship? Do you talk on the telephone? Would you help him motion? Yes, you actually should exist this close earlier yous ask someone to work for complimentary.
Oh, and at that place's a caveat: Yous should still offer to pay the other person if his business organization is new and fledging—particularly if you have the resources. Sure, this makes it less "a favor" and more yous "supporting his new endeavour," but isn't that what family unit and shut friends are for?
2. How Large Is the Ask?
This question may be controversial for some. Because I sympathize the person on the receiving stop who'll thinks: Sure it only takes me 15 minutes to look something over, merely that doesn't mean I call back information technology'south appropriate for people to enquire me to do it for gratis. (And that's totally valid.)
However, this question is instructive as far as whether you lot, the asker, should opt in to pay the other person, even if he says he's 100% happy to help you out. Considering y'all shouldn't let your cousin the web designer overhaul your entire site in exchange for a lasagna.
Whatever you lot're asking for, do some comparison shopping online. If y'all see that other professionals look large sums of time or coin to consummate similar work, you have ii options. One is to consider paying your shut contact! The other is to moderate your request by giving her truthful options and an actual out.
Instead of just request your cousin to redesign your site (or plan your event or pattern a logo or help update all of your application materials), ask if she can assist in a way that makes sense for her. Could she reply over electronic mail by pointing you to a specially instructive resource or sharing i slice of full general advice?
Limiting the amount of fourth dimension the other person would accept to spend to fulfill your request is one mode to be respectful—and still get pointed in the right direction.
Related : iii Email Templates That'll Brand Asking for a Favor Feel Less Awkward for Both People
Some may misunderstand the spirit of this advice and think I'm telling children to charge their parents and BFFs to prepare an hourly rate for phone calls that swoop into one person's area of expertise. I'm not. But I am trying to save someone from asking a relative stranger to piece of work for complimentary, or a close contact to consummate a massive pro-bono undertaking, because that approach ordinarily fails. The other person will probable decline (perhaps uncomfortably), and you'll have offended him or her forth the manner.
So, remember this: You can ask about rates, and if the other person would rather assist you out for free (or barter or sign upwardly for a lifetime supply of gratuitous lasagna because she can't imagine charging her dear aunt or childhood confidante), she'll tell you lot!
A lot of people who are hustling or side-giging or chasing their dream job, while we need the coin, also have a stiff want to pay it forward and put our talents to good utilise for those we love. We only want to be respected enough to be able to choose for ourselves when we'd like to be magnanimous, and non accept information technology be assumed.
Photograph of two people talking courtesy of Hero Images/Getty Images.
Sara McCord is a freelance author and editor, who most frequently covers the career beat. For nearly three years, she was an editor at The Muse, and she'southward regularly contributed career advice to Mashable. Her advice has been published across the web (Forbes, Newsweek, Fast Company,Fourth dimension, Inc., Business Insider, CNBC and more). Sara has experience managing programs; recruiting, interviewing, and referring job applicants; building strategic partnerships; advising executive directors; and supporting a national network of volunteers. Learn more and ship her a note through her website, or follow her on Twitter @sarajmccord.
More from Sara McCordSource: https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-answer-to-is-this-a-tiny-favor-or-am-i-straight-up-asking-someone-to-work-for-free
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